Here’s the latest installment in my funny parenting stories. I hope you laugh, nod your head in agreement, see the humor, and know that as a parent, you are not alone in this journey.
Parenting is just plain hard sometimes. If you aren’t in the trenches, it’s easy to forget just how hard seemingly normal activities can be with young children. I’m so blessed by the little ones in my life, but sometimes I just need to share a laugh over the chaos of mothering little ones!
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I was on the phone with our licensing worker for foster care today. She asked me if we had the pool up and running yet at our new house.
I told her “Yes! We swim every chance we get!”
She replied, “It must be so relaxing!”
I laughed a little and said, “Not quite, but it sure does wear out the kids!”
Pool time is not relaxing when you have kids.
And it certainly isn’t relaxing when you have 4 kids!
The Comical Chaos of Getting Ready
Getting ready for the pool is quite an event itself. There’s the “go potty” and “hey, now go potty again!”
It’s herding cats to get everyone in their swimsuit. Next, they each need sunscreen slathered on their sweet little faces and bodies. Puddlejumper life jackets are wriggled onto the 3 little ones and goggles for the oldest.
Once we are ready to go out the door, you can count on the fact that someone isn’t wearing sandals and is scorching their feet on the deck.
I wait for that kid to get their flip flops.
Of course by now someone has to potty….for the third time.
Finally, we are all set and ready to go out.
Here we go! There’s the rushing of feet and the 20 reminders to “Slow Down!”
Down at the pool, the kids immediately dive in.
One of them instantly cries out because they didn’t get the llama float they wanted. I console them by saying they can have a turn in 5 minutes.
The other kids chime in that they want a turn too, so I come up with a spontaneous inflatable llama schedule, which I now have to enforce. Lucky me.
I grab an unused float and kick my feet up for a second. Suddenly a child kicks past, splashing my freshly cleaned sunglasses.
Soon, the air is filled with “Mama! Mama, watch this!” Our 4 year old shouts at me to watch every eventful (and uneventful) movement she makes in the water. “Mama! Mama, watch this!”
She flicks the water.
“Mama! Mama, watch this!”
She splashes the water with a pool noodle.
“Mama! Mama, watch this! I go underwater!”
She puts her face in the water, but can’t go under because of her puddlejumper.
After congratulating her for her valiant attempts, I sneak over to the other side of the pool.
A child comes up from swimming underneath me and spritzes my face with spit.
The child goes back underneath and another child hops onto my float with me. Suddenly, she is shrieking in my ear and clawing at me to climb upwards to safety.
They are playing sharks and mermaids.
And well, sharks like to eat mermaids.
The screaming continues, so I join the sharks because obviously they are more likely to gain peace in this scenario.
After the sharks successfully catch and eat every mermaid, I grab a nanosecond of peace on my float.
Naturally, at this point, a child has to go potty.
Apparently, it’s contagious, so we take a brief bathroom break intermission.
“Ma! Help me, Ma!”
I don’t know why my 5 year old son calls me “Ma” like a child born in the 1800’s.
It’s a mystery.
Ma! Help me get on the llama float please!” I attempt to lift my wriggling son onto the float.
I pull, tug, heave and finally get his little body atop the floating llama and into position.
He grins with glee.
He sits for 5 seconds and then purposely slips right off the float and splashes into the water.
Well, that was a quick ride.
My daughter surfaces from underwater again. My face is spritzed with spit…again.
I kick up my feet, enjoying the super blue sky and the beauty of the day.
A kid cannonballs into the pool and splashes me in the face.
I wipe the water from my eyes and paddle to the other end of the pool and grin at the loveliness of the view. My kids pounce on top of me shrieking.
The pool is a place of energy.
It’s where sharks eat mermaids and I pretend to fish for tuna (to make tuna fish sandwiches of course.)
The pool is a place of family time, laughter, shrieking, and fun. It’s a place where we bond as a family. The pool has been a real blessing to our family.
But no. It is most definitely not in any sense of the word….relaxing.
I hope you’ve enjoyed the installment in the funny parenting stories series. If you have a funny kid story, feel free to share below!
More Funny Parenting Stories:
The Form: A Little Parenting Humor
Good Morning…or so they say – Funny Parenting Stories
Parenting Humor – Road Trips and Bathroom Banter