PING. I get a text from my child’s pre-K teacher reminding me to turn in a form tomorrow for parent teacher conferences. I almost text back “what form?” but decide to check the colossal mountain of papers that somehow accumulated over the course of a week. As I look through the mound, I find an overdue bill, more coupons than the Krazy Coupon Lady herself could ever use, and our will, which is great because this will be my demise.
Our 3 year old, Violet, comes in repeatedly while I am working. Finally, I tell her to please go play, I need to get this done. She disappears for a nanosecond and instantly my son appears by my side, telling me that Violet has put lotion all over herself. I promptly go investigate.
Sure enough, when I enter the room, the guilty party has her head downcast…but it’s not lotion. Oh no, she’s not over moisturized herself. It’s gooey antibacterial ointment. She had climbed on top of a child-size table and used it to hoist herself onto the top of a tall shelf. While she was sitting on top of the world, she had found the antibacterial ointment and rubbed it all over her clothing, hair, and face. Awesome. I start to ask why or how or when this possibly commenced. I mean, she was gone for a nanosecond. Meanwhile, our youngest decides to mimic her sister’s actions and start the monumental climb herself.
I grab the youngest toddler, put her in time-out for not listening to me say no climbing the furniture. As I clean up Violet I tell her that we don’t climb the furniture and that consequences are coming. I don’t know what the penalty is for climbing furniture with intent to slather.
So, I take a moment to collect myself. I love it when I can use natural consequences…but this particular situation didn’t lend itself to anything of the sort.
I finally decide that cleaning her room is the proper compensation for applying cream in a reckless manner while scaling considerably tall furniture. Violet found the punishment was more than she could bear. A burden far too substantial for a child of 3 years old.
So she lodged a complaint with management via tantrum for 30 minutes instead of starting her unfavorable assignment. Meanwhile, you guys, I found my form! I filled it out AND I made supper…I may have overcooked the pasta a bit, but I’m calling it a win. Sometimes a parent needs a win. Especially if they lose a battle that involves ointment.
Other funny kid stories:
Good Morning…or so they say
Road Trips and Bathroom Banter
All Funny Kid Stories
“I don’t know what the penalty is for climbing furniture with intent to slather. ”
I love this sentence so much, but am not sure how to work it into daily speech patterns.
LOL. Just another “normal” day in the Garman household. LOL
Love your perspective! If we didn’t find a little humor and grace in those crazy moments… how would we ever manage?! 🙂 Congrats on your multiple mom wins in a day!
Thanks! Got to take the wins where I can!
I feel you, we have all had these parenting days, with mine it was a bottle of sunscreen.
Oh no! I can imagine the mess! LOL
My son hasn’t started disappearing and getting in trouble as yet, but I know it’s coming. Thanks for sharing your hillarious story. I can imagine the fun getting the
LOL Yes, it’s coming! 🙂
The good news is that she killed any lingering germs on her body! 😉 You definitely have to have a sense of humor when parenting toddlers.
For sure! 🙂 LOL
Haha I can totally relate to this struggle. All the paperwork from schools may just do me in (if the toddler antics, like lotion playtime, don’t do it first). Thanks for the laugh!
This is the truth! Parenting is a struggle! LOL