Today, we are taking a humorous look at motherhood. We’re diving into some Road Trip Humor to help you remember you aren’t alone on this parenting journey.
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Sometimes my husband and I like to challenge ourselves to a life-size game of Tetris. We scurry around to pack up a good chunk of our worldly possessions into our car, along with our 4 kids to do something most people fondly call a road trip.
We pack suitcases and duffel bags up to the ceiling in the back of our Enclave. Most of the kids have something under their feet, like a diaper bag, stroller, cooler, or pack n play. I keep toys and snacks pressed in tight in my foot space.
It’s a trade off for sure, but hey, giving up the feeling in my left leg for a few hours is totally worth having a quiet car ride. We know that we’ve won the game if we are only running 1 hour behind schedule and no one pukes on the way.
My husband prefers to drive, so I serve as co-pilot. In case you weren’t aware, co-pilot is no longer a desirable position when you have kids. Basically, it’s the servant seat.
I’m the keeper of the toys, the dvd player disc jockey, and the queen of drink refills. I serve up lollipops lickety-split when our kid gets a green car sick look on his face.
I’m a world class puke catcher. I catch puke in sand buckets, if we are lucky enough to have one in the car. And, as the seeker, I find lost objects, without even looking. “Check in the cup holder next to your door!!!”
Also, my job includes serving snacks, via the “heads up!” method. I meticulously fill plastic baggies with equal amounts of chips or crackers, zip them up, and call out “heads up!!” before winging them to the opposite end of the vehicle. It’s a real crowd pleaser. At times, there are accidental collisions of flying snacks with faces, but nothing a fresh snack can’t fix.
This past weekend we traveled 3 hours down to Osage Beach, MO to meet up with my husbands’s family. Annually, we go down to stay at a condo resort and spend time as a family swimming, paddle-boating, kayaking, playing games, and golfing. Miniature golfing that is…
On our last day, we went to the pirate mini golf course. Having mini-golfed every year with toddlers, we have it pretty much down to an art. Jeremy and I took our 3 youngest kids with us. We played a semi-serious game against each other while we let the 3 little ones whack their golf balls around. The group behind us was the kids ages 8-12 (it’s always good to wedge them in so they can’t wander too far ahead on the course). Then, behind them was the rest of the adults, who actually kept a real score card.
Jeremy and I don’t have time to watch 3 toddlers, play mini golf and keep a score card, so we play a par 3 on every hole and add/subtract from there. For example, if Jeremy gets a hole in one, he gets a -2. If it takes me 4 hits, I have a +1.
Anyway, after rescuing the children multiple times from water traps, finding lost balls (and golf clubs!) and reminding them not to run down super steep inclines, we finally finished. It was a close game, but I let Jeremy take home the victory, while I took our son to the toilet.
Our 4 year old son was all excited from his day and jumping around in the bathroom. As he sat down on the toilet, he almost fell in.
I said “Whoa! Slow down. Be careful! You’ll fall in!”
His little brown eyes looked up at me with worry and he said, “I would miss you so much mama!”
Stifling a laugh, I told him, “I wasn’t worried about you going down the toilet. I just didn’t want you to get wet.” “Oh!” he replied in relief.
It must have been the day for toilet humor, because later, as I took our 3 year old to the bathroom, she tells me, “I’m getting a little bit chubby.”
Completely taken off guard, I ask, “Why would you say that???”
She exclaimed “Well….LOOK!! She pointed down to her thighs and said, “I’ve been eating lots of food!”
So, in summary, if you live in a world with road trip humor where the most noteworthy conversations happen in the bathroom…you might be a parent. 🙂
More Parenting Humor:
Good Morning…or so they say
Top 10 Reasons I was Late – Funny Kid Stories
The Form – Parenting Humor